just a few
favorite American anomalies you can leave at the door on New
Kid & Pamela
all Prada boy models
Red Bull & Vodka
Britney & Justin
the Vanity Fair issue with half-naked Tom "Icky"
Cruise on the cover...
Popstars 1, 2, whatever
Victoria's Secret TV Specials
Dawson & whoever
Martha Stewart & Bryant Gumbel
come on in...
Boys Who Knit
Cast of Ocean's 11
Viggo Morgenston (sp.)
Brad & Jen(?!)
Plate of Shrimp
Cast of Sex in the City
The Badda Bing Dancers dressed as the Rockettes
Mariah escorted by 3 Marines
Nick & Lisa Marie
Cast of Mad TV
Mango / J Lo
December 23, 2001
/ 5% UFO under a Tree with No Star...
If it's staring me in
the face, I can visualize how it might look
when it's done. There are 18 rows to go
on the turtleneck and then the seams.
I hate this sweater. I love this sweater!
I am going to go now and get all prettied
up and go to a party.
When I come back, I hope I'll have had enough
Holiday Cheer to face
the music and finish this beauty...
December 22, 2001
Celtic Cable Pullover: 36 rows!!!
December 20, 2001
Working outside in freezing temperatures
for prolonged periods of time will reduce
your brain to rubber...
One of my friends (the same one who pointed
out to me the fact that I dozed off on Thanksgiving
with my mouth open) kindly brought to my
attention the reason for the plugs being
at the top of the Little Tree. Said tree
has not been used in TWO years. Last Xmas,
she recalled that I hung a huge wreath above
the mantle and put all the ornaments on
the wreath, then spotlighted it with one
of those oooky 60's lighted color wheels
from Urban Outfitters. (Blech!)
Two years ago, I had a bright electric STAR
atop my tree and of course, it needed power.
Hence the position of the outlets.
This appears to be true, I am sad to say...
(HOW I hate it when she's right!)
The dilemma now is: Where oh where is my
little star. Oh where oh where COULD it
I moved last year and there are many boxes
down in the storage locker in the basement
that in my moving/packing frenzy I marked
not. This star is not with the rest of the
Xmas decorations. Perhaps in my mad rush
to pack up the holiday, I gave it a special
place of honor in another unrelated box.
Like a box of ..... uhmmm ...... BOOKS?
No, obviously too harsh.
UHHHmmmmm ...... ODDs & Ends? No, too logical.
And, since I would do anything to avoid
laundry, housecleaning and finishing the
gift wrapping, I think I will willfully
take the next two hours to find the STAR.
Then, I promise, I'll do the dishes...
Celtic Cable Cardigan: 78% Done / 22% UFO
December 19, 2001
Even though I'm hurling down the UFO Holiday
Highway at ballistic speeds, I am slowly
being washed clean by Christmas Spirit.
Chicago has had no snow - it's raining,
in fact - but I can see my breath when I
leave the house. I go to work pretty early
and it's still dark. People on my street
have been leaving their Xmas lights on all
night. There's a lot of flags everywhere,
What else could I do but fish out the little
3 ft. tree from my storage space and fire
'er up! I conveniently left 2 strands of
lights on it from last year hoping to bypass
that heinous wrapping of wire (I always
get gaps). I must have had too much eggnog
when I thought that one up because I still
had to un-wrap re-wrap because the plugs
were almost all the way at the top of the
tree! What the...
Since I put Little Tree on a 3 ft plaster
fake Corinthian column, the electrical connection
was 5 ft in the air. Not up to anybody's
code I know.
My favorite two ornaments are a 1" high
glass monkey that is royal blue with a smiling
yellow face. The other is a black velvet
skunk with a furry tail. He is about 1.5"
and smiling a happy skunk smile.
Although it took me a looong time to get
any Xmas spirit this year, I love looking
at the lit Little Tree while I am finishing
some last minute gifts.
Still trying to finish the Celtic Cable
pullover: is it 75% done or 25% unfinished?
December 16, 2001
One of the greatest comforts to me in the
last few months has been knitting. Many
folks across the country have turned to
their craft to reach out to our fellow man,
some in huge ways, others in smaller grassroots
Recently the knitting group I hang with
on Tuesday nights (Stitch 'n Bitch Chicago)
decided to show our HUGE appreciation and
regard for some of the firefighters from
Chicago who traveled to NY for the disaster
relief efforts. When we decided to start
this project, lots of ideas were exchanged.
I wrote this on 9-19-2001:
" These guys are the great unsung heroes
of our neighborhood, both local and national.
In the spirit of these times, we've decided
to make some quilts for the firehouses of
the men who went so unselfishly to give
of their hearts and hands. The service,
generosity and love that these men have
for the public is unequaled anywhere by
"I have had the privilege to be be present
during many of their efforts and am filled
with the utmost respect for their unselfish
actions. Last Tuesday brought us to our
knees in many ways. If our group could make
some small comfort for those who were able
to stand and deliver in this time of challenge
and pain it would be a wonderful thing indeed."
"I ran this idea past several firefighters
I know and they were thrilled! Any appreciative
gesture is so rare for these guys that they
were just beaming thinking about it! The
general consensus is that a quilt would
be well used in the common room of any firehouse.
We're going to make 12x12" squares in Red,
White, and Blue yarn in various designs."
Last night, we started sewing the strips
together. Everyone chose their own stitch
patterns and it was suprisingly beautiful
how the diversity in the colors and textures
all bonded together into a fabulous whole!
Even my slightly wacky fire hydrant block
just melted into the others.
We're hoping to be finished by Xmas - I
join with all the rest of you out there
in being proud of our country, leaders and
heroes in these challenging times...
December 15, 2001
Santa Claus is
coming to town...
December 13, 2001
Is the glass half
empty or is the glass half full? Is your
sweater half finished or just a UFO?
I am very superstitious. Somewhere the idea
landed in my head that all projects started
in a particular year MUST be finished by
New Year's Eve of that year. OR: watch your
knitting karma slam into a serious downward
spiral. For someone like me who just has
to juggle about 5 projects at a time (short
attention span, remember?)I have now entered
the danger zone.
Year 2000 - 100%. (Maybe I was just carried
along by the momentum of the real start
of the millenium.) This year, unless plagues
of Santa's elves land on the premises, something
is going to go begging. People, we're talking
gifts vs. personal clothing items of huge
fashion importance. Which would you go for?
I blame my mother (after thousands of dollars
of professional conseling of course) because
she was a real slave of fashion in her youth.
You cannot find a picture of her nuclear
family without her in the foreground wearing
the latest, one shoulder and foot forward,
posing like she's in some fashion spread
However, she is also the most generous person
I know. She even makes a tin of cookies
for my co-workers at Xmas, which totally
relieves me of the obligatory holday snack
contribution. She is such a good baker,
I cruise on her goodwill for at least two
weeks, before my associates come back to
earth and start dissing me like they normally
I DID finish the BIGGIE Scarf I was working
on for a family member. I am giving my sister
a handknitted sweater I made in the late
summer. I have a hat planned, ready to go...
But, what about the UFO's? (Unfinished Objects)
IS that sweater/jacket 30% done or 70% incomplete?
I am knitting like mad everywhere I go -
my fellow bus riders have started cheering
me along. (I did lie and say the s/j was
How about the Celtic Cable Pullover I wanted
to wear with a burgundy beaded skirt to
a party in the week between Xmas and New
Year's. 40% or 60%????
Today is the 13th - uhhmm - it's now down
to the 12
days of Xmas as well. I think I'm done
December 9, 2001
Oooh La La!!! What's
a Holiday ChicKnit without a little fur?!
Up until today, I was having a hard time
getting in a party holiday mood. Everything
was a little flat. Like that half consumed
goblet of champagne with no bubbles but
lots of lipstick on the edge of the glass
that you find the day after...
But now, I am just percolating Xmas spirit!
And today I can't blame the coffee. All
I needed was one
little outfit to push me into the fray,
one look that said, "Mister, the mistletoe's
Yes, I've finished the fur collared, slightly
tight black zippered cardigan...
It took less than 15 minutes to sew the
on the body of the thing and not only was
it easy, it matched up in size! I've been
designing from scratch almost all the things
I've been making the last few months and
this is always a miracle to me.
The next miracle will be finding a cheap
black leather skirt at the mall. I already
have the boots. Wish me luck.
December 6, 2001
December 4, 2001
Memento, un momento,
please will someone tell me what this movie
is all about?
I gave a party for adults awhile back and
one friend brought her son. He was the only
child at this party and in his infinite
boredom, took my pre-loaded CD cartridge
(it loads 5 at a time) out of the machine
and shoved it in upside down, toasting the
So I saved up and got a DVD player for music
and MOVIES MOVIES MOVIES. TOo cool to run
the audio through the stereo and see my
old TV produce a Fabulous picture. Who Knew?
So now I can KNIT KNIT KNIT while wallowing
in Hollywood's finest and just not have
to listen to Heather Thirty-something one
row behind me have an argument on her cell
with her boyfriend in the cineplex. [What
is it with people and their cells?! I was
going to work the other day and a woman
was BREAKING UP with her boyfriend on a
SRO bus during AM rush hour. In Chicago,
this is just the HEIGHT of rudeness because
in the AM (and PM) no one is really awake
and the last thing you want to hear is some
bogus one-way conversation between two dot
bombers heading for the tech ghetto on this
So I have saved myself from one brutal cultural
aberration and landed smack dab in the middle
of another: You simply cannot knit and watch
this movie, Memento. If you look away for
three seconds to flip your needles and start
another row, you have missed at least three
clues that will now cause your head to needlessly
spin around like
Linda Blair on a bad day. And since
you just got this hardware, when you try
to go back and rewind you find out there
is no rewind just re-chapters unless you
want to painfully go back FRAME-by-FRAME.
[Maybe I'm just missing something really
obvious here but that's what happened to
But, I think it's a GREAT movie anyways!
This Guy Pearce is just about perfect in
the part of Leonard. I'm not even annoyed
when he goes into B/W flashback sequence
monologues about some guy named Sammy that
he's obsessed with. (Now tell me true, Leonard
is Sammy, right?)
It seems perfectly natural to try and knit
a most complicated Celtic cable pattern
while watching the ultimate flashback movie
because before you know it you have to frog
the last twelve rows because you are hopelessly
out of synch with the pattern and have now
created a personal hellish flashback of
your very own. Knit, re-knit. Knit, re-knit.
Memo on Memento:
stick to that garter stitch scarf...
December 1, 2001
I am in love with
After months and months of dissing the Biggie
craze, I have been bit by the bug.
While you won't catch me in a Biggie Sweater
(just can't get down with the extra pounds)
but you are sure to see me in some Biggie
Like scarves and hats and cowls...
I started my binge yesterday using something
by GGH called Tricklore that I bought at
the end of the season last year with no
idea of what it would turn into. Using size
13 needles, I made a cap in a couple of
It was so cute! But then I went and steamed
it and it got huge! I don't know why!!!
The washing machine was working away on
a load of jeans about two feet from my ironing
board and I just panicked and threw it in
Ten minutes later I was almost unable to
find it because it was so far under the
load, but I fished it out and it was just
a little felted. I pressed it flat on the
kitchen counter and am I a lucky dog or
what but it was the right size! (I apologize
for all of the exclamation points but this
was a tragedy averted and I am just ecstatic!!!)
Once again I've been saved by felting! And
the hat will probably be warmer because
now it's denser, although that really wasn't
the look I was going after.
Guess I'll have to just keep on gorging...
Um, pistachio anyone?
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