BLOG 03/01-17/2002

Cultural Froids

from the

What the...

Oscar Funnies

da dress on da chest... OMG... ChicKnits has set up a Paypal account to get this woman some chow...

I forgot to shop at Chanel this year!

My mom wore her hair like this when she was a bridesmaid in her sister's wedding!

More dish:

KIP ALert!
'The April 2002 National Geographic has a photo of some Tibetan women sitting outside knitting. The caption says they are prostitutes who knit while waiting for "business". careful when you knit in public.'

Kate, from
Dansville, NY

Let me be the
first to toast the Newlyweds with a Super
What the...

"He sucked her lips right out of her face!" says The View cohost Joy Behar. Asked what was his favorite part of the evening, Tito Jackson said of his friend Gest, "I had never seen him kiss anyone, so for me, seeing him kiss Liza like that was the most exciting." Added Trump: "I have been to many weddings, and I have never seen a kiss like that before."

More gory details...

This child needs to get back to her roots and I don't mean her goldilocks... It's at times like these I get down on me knees and thank the dear Lord I am not a celebrity!

Benicio del Torres
has a girlfriend in Chicago and it's NOT me!!! HOW could this happen?!

The Bride's
Maid Tale
ala Cindy Adams

"The 5-o'clock-sharp wedding saw Michael Jackson and Elizabeth arrive promptly at 5:15. Michael did not get the bridal bouquet. I don't know who did, as my vision was obscured by Gina Lollobrigida's wig..."


the Bachelor Party of Liza's fiance David Gest included not 1 but 3 Liza impersonators. Possibly on cold feet, the groom left early...

Love love
Me Do(ugh)

Jennifer Love Hewitt & Survivor winner Ethan Zohn

the Greatest
Surprise of All...

Whitney backs out of singing the wedding march song for Liza. Natalie Cole steps up
and will sing

Sock Monkey
Smack Down
amazingly includes all of ChicKnits current Human Froids

Tainted Love
Buffy Loves Spike

OH, that Other

Carmen Electra &
Dave Navarro
(big EWWWW)

Charlize Theron was eating in a Japenese LA restaurant and bought a handmade sweater from a fellow diner/knitter on the spot for $1000

March 1, 2002

just in case
you're wondering since

National Craft Month and
Irish-American Month
(by Presidential Proclamation...)

I propose that all mighty beginning knitters and crafters who want to knit come out of the closet and into the Crafty Light!

Learn to Cable!

There is almost nothing I like better when knitting than making cables! Aran knitting is cable making supreme - you just have to know how to count. Counting's easy, I learned at age 2? 3? Now that I knit, if I really want to get in a good mood and keep it easy but end up with something that people will think I'm a genius for even trying, I make a cable pullover.

It all starts HERE!
Many thanks to the folks at Wonderful Things!

March 1st is National Peanut Butter Day so I'm having my favorite:
SuperChunky on a Homemade Peanut Butter Cookie.
Ahhh, breakfast of champions.
Thanks Mom!

March 2, 2002

From Venus with Love
What do you do when Extreme Cabin Fever
hits you right between the eyes?

1. Eat and/or drink a lot of carbs.

2. Pull out the videos and watch the Avengers collector set from 1967 you got for Christmas that you've been saving for a rainy day. It's not really raining in Chicago, but snow, sleet and slop is close enough.

3. Celebrate your craftinesss....

Let's make a Cabled Headband!

Materials: about 50g of Worsted Weight yarn, the stretchier the better.

#8 Needles

FIRST: Go HERE and read how to make an 8 stitch cable or CB4

Then come back here and:

CO 18sts.

Row 1 (WS): K1, P2, K2, P8, K2, P2, K1.
Row 2 (RS): K3, P2, K8, P2, K3
Rows 3, 5, 7, 9, 11: As Row 1.
Row 4, 8, 10, 12: As Row 2.

Row 6: K3, P2, CB4, P2, K3.

So basically, every odd row is worked as Row 1, and every even row as Row 2, except for Row 6, where you CABLE!!!

These rows are repeated for about 20" or whatever fits around your head comfortably. (Measure your head in the area you would wear a headband with a piece of yarn and then measure the yarn!)

March 3, 2002

Forecast Calls for Crafty

Chicago temps continue in the Teens! WindChills below 0!

I'm still cabling!

WIP: Pullover from Rowan's Seasons Tale - the pattern is called Heather and I'm knitting it out of a cotton/lycra yarn called Designer's Memory 8. Socknitters love a yarn called FIXATION and this is sort of a worsted version of it. I wish Melrose (or someone) would bring it back! Most cottons stretch all out of shape but this is just like that nice T-shirt or Blouse with 5% L in it that keeps it crisp and tidy.

That's what I'd call URBAN. Crisp. Fashionable. Femme. Body conscious. Modern...

March 3rd is Alexander Graham Bell's birthday.
He was born on March 3, 1847 in Edinburgh, Scotland.
Without his fine efforts, we wouldn't be speaking now!
Cheers, Mr. Bell!

March 4, 2002

Monday Morning March Mirth

Courtesy Columbia Minerva Yarns


I found this at a garage sale for 18 cents!
Anybody know the urban legend about
knitting your boyfriend a sweater?
Tell me HERE

March 5, 2002

Crafts: Sooner or later you just gotta Do-It-Yourself...

Even if you're one of the extreme knitteratti, I know (for sure) one day you'll become a hybrid. You will become enchanted with the idea of crocheted lace. Or someone will tell you that Kool-Aid can be used to dye things. Beads are Beautiful! And we all know that everything looks better in candlelight.

When that day comes, (and it'll be sooner than you think), the perfect place to go visit is

The subtitle of this site says it simply best:
"Daily Finds and Stuff I Really Really Like"

Megan, the craftmistress deluxe behind this wonderfully designed and fun site, wanders the web and comes back with the most incredible best of the best. Things that put the good into "the good life."

There's stuff to make, stuff to bake, stuff to wear to make you beautiful (and smell good) when you give that groovy party with the HOMEMADE TINY PINATAS!!!

Megan finds stuff I never can find - she even has 2 (not 1, 2!!!) recipes for my favorite cocktail, the mighty Mojito!

And she's got it all in a handy-dandy for you to get lost some afternoon and travel the world while you're planning your next party. Enjoy the clean design and great photography and I guarantee there'll be something there you just can't resist!

Oh, of course, Megan KNITS! Here's her pattern for a fabulous eyelash scarf with design commentary...

March 6, 2002

Crafting: License to (s)ILL(y)

Got this dance that's more than real
Think Sock Monkey - here's how you feel
Put your left leg down - your right leg up
Tilt your head back - let's finish it up
M.C.A. with the bottle - D. rocks the can
Adrock gets nice with Charlie Chan
We're offered Moet - we don't mind Chivas
Wherever we go we bring the Monkey with us

Sock Monkey - that funky Monkey
Sock Monkey - skunkie
That funky Monkey

People, these are the real deal. My man MCA on the left is my favorite toy of all time from when I was a tot, made with my grammie's own hands. His legs are different sizes and his can is slightly forever leaning to the right because of the way I clutched him under my arm during the night. It also has what I now recognize from my many trips to New Orleans as a gris-gris bag around its neck. I think there is lavender inside. Something to calm the tot within at least.

My brother and I did not know that these were a Sock Men so we called them Foosers.

The Monkey is wearing a Burberry dress. It does not mind.

You might need a Funky Monkey of your own!

Bonus Mirth

March 7, 2002

Oliver Pike writes...
"Good luck in your quest for World Cablenation..."



Ollie says: "I find it funny that you mentioned learning to cable because I happen to be in the middle of my first attempt at a cable pattern. It's a grey sweater using Moschio (I can't think of the company right now) knit with #9 needles.

There's only one cable running down the front; I figure crawl before I walk or run...I was amazed to learn that with a standard cable, there are no new stitches that you need to learn. You just use the regular ole' knit and purl stitches (with an extra knitting needle tossed in)."

New CableNation citizen Dangerous Chunky, says she's "tackled the sport of CB-4ing" gettin' down and interactive with the moniter & needles... Cable on!!!

UFO: My SuperCable Pullover has crept from the Startitis pile over to the UFO side - it is half done and I've started the front. I can't wait to wear this! And I typically hate a project at this stage but I'm plowing right through this...

Here's what it looks like finished on the right.

Speaking of the original CableNation, I am getting sortof psyched about St. Patrick's Day and have been offered the opportunity to ride on our company float at the traditional South Side Irish Parade (always a ParTay!). People rent U-Haul Trucks and park them rear-side out facing Western Ave the night before in the commericial parking lots. Magically, they turn into "house parties" on parade day with plenty0refreshments for all. UMM, should I or shouldn't I...

We are having a co-worker DJ some music as the float rolls (while the world turns, etc etc etc) and it might be too scary for me! Maybe I SHOULD go and wear the SUPER Tiara I got the one year I went to Mardi Gras. I didn't want to dress in a costume but always wanted a tiara so I bought one that is ALMOST Miss Universe size. Just stunning...

I wore it all day and everyone kept asking me what I was Queen Of or they just waved at me or pointed and leaned over to their friends (probably) saying, "Look a Beauty Queen." UHH hahh... I didn't even have to wear a bikini and have my A** hanging out in front of millions of viewers or get implants to get maximum respect. Y'll should really try this.

Even if you get one just to do housework in.

For all the Rebecca Fans out there, you can buy it online from the USA source HERE

March 8, 2002

International Women's Day 2002

Courtesy of Inverallan

With Honor and Respect,
Past, Present and Future,
Celebrate Women around the World


March 9, 2002

Toy Story: Part One

Lucky girl me, I came from a family that loved playing with toys! My Dad's Dad had a big train set that he fiddled with, that had a whole room devoted to it. He built mountains and even made little detailed trees out of spaghnum moss and carved wood. Boxcars were distressed to look rusty and stained glass was used for a pond with a bridge. We were never allowed to drive the trains, but it was thrilling to stand just about eye-level with this manufactured world. I just put myself on the bridge in my mind and was off...

Himself and Herself both loved windup or battery toys and always were on the look-out for more insane little geepers that would make everybody laugh. Imagine my mother's delight today over the plethora of digitally dancing gorillas and hamsters. Every Christmas, she sends me a new toy to delight my family, friends and co-workers. These toys are so lucky, I quickly pass them around to share the mirth. I just received a dancing Leopard for my birthday that's holding a heart while he sings "Do You Love ME" that I would be most honored to send to anyone who would like it.

There is one famous frog that ribbets Xmas carols which has been wrapped and distributed for over 5 years to various households. It is now on the South Side of Chicago on Avenue M with my friend's 83 year old Mother, who ADORES Senor Frog. She said to us, when we told her our customary pass-along, "To hell with your silly custom, I'm keeping him!" Right-on bubbie! I thank you a million times over!

The first thing I remember making is a dress for my little troll. It consists of a rectangle with two slits for the arms. My mom sewed a snap on the back and added the little snip at the top of the dress to make a collar.

Crafting just might be in our DNA it seems...

March 10, 2002

HerStory: Small & Smaller

I was way into straightening this morning and folding and sorting all the garments that were strewn about. There were 50mph wind storms yesterday here in Chicago and it just made a royal mess in my house! Hehehe...

I noticed that the majority of garments I make are with rather large needles - the good ole American way of the worsted - size 7 - 10. I actually am making fast progress on the ruffled aqua pullover, which is on size 5's: 8 rows to the inch! And it is NOT taking forever. I get into a riff where it goes really fast and I think of all the women in early 20th that made really fine gauge sweaters all the time because of the fashions and the materials they had to work with.

I have some craft magazines from the 20's and 30's that I found at flea markets (my sister Catherine and I used to go adventuring many a Sunday)and the garments are incredible! Suits and dresses in beautiful Edwardian (?) type clothing I've only seen on Masterpiece Theatre or in the Victoria/Albert in London.

It makes me want to keep at least one project in a fine gauge to enjoy not only the variety but the craftmanship.

Oh to be sockmaker to the Queen! "In 1560 Mrs. Montagu, whose marital status is unclear, gave the Queen, whose silk woman she was, her first pair of knitted silk stockings. These so delighted Elizabeth Tudor that she would never wear cloth stockings again." (Emerson).

Here's to all the threadbenders of history...

This lovely celluloid baby is dressed in a
minute gauge crocheted dress, unders, and booties.
Doughy hand included for scale.


March 11, 2002

Monday Morning March Mirth

Courtesy Columbia Minerva Yarns

AAha! Re: Boyfriend Knitting - JUST SAY NO!
If it's a sweater, your love will bomb before it's done.
Socks? He'll walk away from you...

March 12, 2002

Putting the Art into Arts & Crafts

The chief benefit of the "New Knitting" is, of course, new knitters.
Thanks to the web, the insatiable curiosity of fresh eyes
leads to fresher fields for us all.

The most global traveler I've met is

This New York Diva has roamed near and far and delightfully shares her terrific textile discoveries with us in her blog.

Some Chunkified destinations include the artful Sublime Stiching or goto the online Smithsonian and explore their Creative Process Archives!

My favorite Dangerous find is all the way in Japan where we visit the exhibit Fushiginoiroito! and KnitJapan, a collective effort highlighting art knitters and designers in that country.

Imagine my delight as a photographer/knitter to find another who Shoots 'n Stitches! See it all in the Chunkerific Archives

And, for sheer entertainment value, don't miss this: Celebrity Knitting a cool album of Hollywood threadbenders...

There's enough here to light your creative fires for long beyond 2002!

Bon Voyage, Dangerous Chunky!!!

March 13, 2002

The Muse is Lurking Here Somewhere...

After almost a year, I finally finished the knitting part (except for edgings) on a little shell from Rowan #29.

It is made from Linen Drape which I liked at first, was irritated by soon after, thus into the Marination Chamber it went...

Every once in a while, I would pick it up, hold it a few seconds, and find an involuntary sneer forming on my lips. BEGONE!

REASON: Yarn is made from Linen and Viscose and seemed too silky. Then the pieces grew and I thought the shell would not hold it's shape but just warp out into a baggie. It is a fitted chic little thing and this would not do at all...

Most of the time, if a project has been sitting around FOREVER, I wash it lightly as part of the blocking process. This produced a most welcome transformation in the pieces - they firmed up and went back to their proper shape.

I think they'll warp out a little with wear, but maybe just enough to soften up and go back to the Drape part of this yarn which seems to be completely gone at this point.

The shell is supposed to look like this.

March 14, 2002

Happy Birthday Teddy!

It's the 100th Anniversary of the Teddy Bear this year - probably one of the most "crafted" playthings ever on the planet.

I went through a bear phase myself a while back. My sister, Catherine makes toys as well, dolls of all sorts. We sort of egged each other on at one point. It's always such a swell to have someone to craft with, bounce ideas off of, keep you in line when you fall into the inevitable obsession stage.

If I had to have one petty obsession (besides KNITTING/Yarn of course) it might be Teddy Bears. Here is the first teddy I made. It was a pattern I found in a Teddy Bear magazine for an 18" bear. I kept photocopying it and shrinking the pattern down. This little bitty is 3.5" tall.

He has button joints that are actually rather smooth. The same can't be said about my top/buttonhole stitching. I never really got the hang of it!

Much later in the game, I went to Gigi's Dolls & Sherry's Teddy Bears in Chicago and bought some real "fur" that bear-makers like STEIFF actually use. It's really woven sheared mohair and is really cool to touch. This is the biggest doll store I've ever been in. When you first walk in, there are life size Barbie dolls from the 60's to greet you. There are whole rooms of old doll dresses, shoes, wigs, bits and pieces. It is at once like a museum and the most funkified toy store a grrrl could go to.

I've given away most of the little bears I made but kept this little boy for myself:

It has loco ears and it's own "B" letter sweater with little glass buttons. (He has little glass eyes.) I have a little picnic basket full of buttons I've found at flea markets and garage sales. When I see 'em I buy 'em and throw 'em in the basket. Then when I'm making a sweater, I go "shopping". Some are very very old and have great cardboard cards they're attatched to with wonky designs and advertising.

Awesome Ewe's current newsletter says this about Mr. Teddy's Birthday:

"According to the story, in 1902 President Roosevelt went on a bear hunt in Mississippi, but after three days no bears had been found. Somehow his guides managed to find a mangy old bear and tied him up to a tree for the president to shoot. When Roosevelt saw the bear, he decided that no one should shoot the bear for sport. A cartoonist heard the story and drew his own version of the event. This caught the attention of a New York shop keeper whose wife had made two toy bears. They wrote the president and got permission to name their toys "Teddy's bears". This got changed to teddy bears and the rest is history!"

If you need a bear of your own go HERE...

March 15, 2002


HiTech Meets LoTech: When you Knit in Public (KIP) sometimes you get stuck without your goodie bag. I was in need of markers yesterday on the ribbed ruffled cardie I'm working on to locate a series of decreases. This sweater has a V-neck and shaped fitted sleeves which means the dreaded double decrease. This is where you are DEC on both sides at once, usually at different row counts. If I don't mark and count, I flop and flail...

So scrounging around the mini-cam garage (which is 99% male) I found a twist tie and about a foot of nickel-lead solder. This stuff twists nicely and doesn't poke. Then I was lucky enough to find one little bobby pin so I was made!

I wonder who was the first woman to use a bobby pin for a technical save? Since everything I know I learned on TV, it's quite obvious that many a road trip at least has been salvaged by some babe who pulls a pin out of her do and goes under the hood and saves the day. And they say we are just little pink flowers...

It's all good... I can't believe it - people were coming up to me all day yesterday telling me they heard the Osgood story about knitting on the radio! MOST of them said I didn't sound like a MORON!!! Can't get too much better than that. Every dog gets their day...

CBS and ACFNewServices listed some transcripts of portions of the broadcast - I actually MISSED IT...

Even some of my toys
gave me a standing ovation!!!

Actually, this is one of three
red-headed old rag dolls I have. Ain't she cute?!
Her head's about as bloated as mine is...

March 16, 2002

Everybody Aran!

First, a little history of Aran knitting and some stories about the most used stitches and you can see why I love this unusual sweater...

It is simple matte DK cotton that I found in London and is uncommon because it's SLEEVELESS! (It never ocurred to me that you can just leave the sleeves off of most sweater patterns and have a really cool shell to wear by itself or under a jacket or shawl.)

I've been dragging my feet about knitting a sweater as complicated as this one:

This lovely handknit beauty has to be the best score of my knitting lifetime. I found it at my church rummage sale for the grand total of $1.00!!! (I washed it and it was as good as new.) It is so warm, that I wear it under a black leather vest when it's over 40 degrees outside...

My next stop traveling the CableNation is another sleeveless Aran which is guaranteed to fly across the finish line because I HATE KNITTING SLEEVES!

For more inspiration, check out Elizabeth Dimbleby's pattern pages
and my inspiration Wendy Johnson's Alice Starmore creations.

March 17, 2002

May you live a long life
Full of gladness and health,
With a pocket full of gold
As the least of your wealth.

May the dreams you hold dearest,
Be those which come true,
The kindness you spread,
Keep returning to you.

May the friendships you make,
Be those which endure,
And all of your grey clouds
Be small ones for sure.
And trusting in Him
To Whom we all pray,
May a song fill your heart,
Every step of the way.

On this St. Patrick's Day,
I offer silence and prayers of thanks for the
thousands of Irish-American firefighters and policemen
in our Nation who watch our backs
and would give their lives for us
in a heartbeat...

© Bonne Marie Burns
All Rights Reserved
Use of any Site Content requires Written Permission


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Finishing up a couple of projects then I'll start my ENGINES!

Jenny G
Jenny S

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Currently Knitting

1. Coppertone (AKA WavyBulb) (83%)
Pattern: Vogue Knitting
Fall 2002
Designer: Shirley Paden
Yarn: Filatura di Crosa 501
Color: Magenta
Gauge: 22sts/30rows over 4"
Needles: #6

2. Fern (23%)
Design: Kim Hargreaves
Yarn: Filatura di Crosa Zara
Color: Kiwi
Gauge: 22sts/30rows over 4"
Needles: #3 & #6

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